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What does it mean if a black squirrel crosses your path?
Dates are basically where I go out and I act like someone I'm not until the person likes me enough to be who I actually am. Never make fun of a fat guy dating jokes one liners dating text lisp You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Stephen Colbert to students at the University of Virginia: I set out to play golf with the intention of shooting my age, but I shot my weight instead. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
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My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records. He took my wallet, my watch, and every silver dollar I had behind my ear.
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I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands. After all, I'm a Scorpio and she's a bitch.
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Virginity is like a soap bubble, one prick and it is gone. They're so full of themselves.
They had planned a perfect evening. Here are some favorite gaffes, followed by wisecracks from the pros: If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. With the boss's wife coming and about to catch him in a compromising position, these unsuspecting members of the dating a retard don't know what to do. ReloadFromP',false, ['banger. The whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was, I should cut my bangs.
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Country music has always been the best shrink that 15 bucks can buy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!